Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
