Do you still have your period?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
