well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize