You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
