Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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