But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
