yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
