i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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