Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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