I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
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It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
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Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize