ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
