I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
