So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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