would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
