Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
