I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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