i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
