I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
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