Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
