peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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