So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
