So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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