that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
