she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
