Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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