just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
