Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
don't judge my taste in strippers
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize