Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize