So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
