I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
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Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize