i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
