She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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