oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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