if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
