so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize