every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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