He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
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There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
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Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize