I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
