I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Randomize
