We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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