maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
