I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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