So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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