Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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