where am i from again
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
