hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
