I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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