College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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