He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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