dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
