Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
