Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize