making cat noises will not fix the situation.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize