Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
