I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
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All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
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I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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