Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
