it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
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you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
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Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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