Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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