dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
