dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
