Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize