This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
My liver just had a heart attack.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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