sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
