first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
