one might say we're banned from that church
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
