It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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