i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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