They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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